Down

Dear blog,

I'm feeling so down at the moment.  I just don't know what's wrong with me today - it's as if I had a self-reflection and actually am realizing all the strange transitions in my life which are affecting me emotionally.  Am I really happy?

I'm only happy for that moment and then I start feeling like shit again once it's all over and I'm stuck alone.  I don't need to surround myself with people to feel happy - no.  I can be happy too, even when I'm alone.  Or can I?

Today I just don't feel like talking to anyone.  I feel too tired to reply to questions.  I hate being told what to do.  I just want to be away from everyone I know right now and stay at an isolated area.  I need a new environment.  Hence, I'm going to preoccupy myself by cleaning up the clutter in my life.

"Are you going to work today?" Dad asked.  "Yes Dad, I am." Silly me for wanting to go to work on a Sunday.  I don't really work that hard on the weekends, I'm just cleaning up and doing filing mostly.  Besides, I feel peaceful at my own space.  I feel suffocated and trapped at home where people want to talk to me.  I'm sorry, but I just don't feel like talking.  It's hard to explain this feeling.  I'm guessing depression is hitting me again.

The saga continues.