Boil

The original soundtrack to my life at this point is Limp Bizkit's "Boiler".  Relating my life to all the people who have hurt me recently.

My ex-boss, DC.  This song is song for you.  You only care about yourself and the money you make from innocent people.  Playing dirty in your company and doing things illegally.  That's not how I roll.  You and me.  We have bad blood.

Speaking of blood.  To my own flesh and blood, born in '79.  This song is for you.  Like my ex-boss, DC, you are self-absorbed.  You only care about yourself and the money you make - you wish to take it to the grave with you rather than help your own family member.  It's not much to ask you for small favours but you take it personally and think that everyone is always using you for financial benefits.  What's wrong with you, woman.  Family help each other out when there is a crisis.  Your bank is filled with money enough to buy yourself a home but here you are still under your 'rents' roof and complaining about finance, when everything here is laid out for you - for free! You complain all the time - never see the brighter side of life.  You wish that you would die, you wish that you would move to another country, you wish a lot of things, sis, but you are not doing anything about it.  Why are you so bitter.  Why are you acting this way when you have people who want to love you - despite your 'special' traits.  I don't believe I have ever asked for a huge favour from you.  I'm terrified of you.  You are like a monster who screams when someone attempts to ask you something.  I'm sad that I have to write about you this way but you have changed.  You have changed me to be bitter too.  It's like poison.  Now I know why there is evil in this World.  It is addictive.  The more bad you do to people, it's like a chain reaction.  It is human nature.  I hate being this way sis but I am angry, just like you.  Had you been a better role model to me, I wouldn't be this bitchy.

--- I can't. Bye.

Snake In Human Skin

I never thought I'd start blogging again. I've kept too much in my head and nothing has been said.  It's sad.  I'd like to share my colourful world with you (whoever's reading this).  And colourful world means the colour of black and grey too.  I have a lot of that.

I'm currently listening to Dark Shadows' movie soundtrack.  They have some cool, vampish, garage rock and oldies songs that might get you in the groovy mood.

Anyway, that's not why I came here today.  I came here to rant.  Hell yeah.  Rant about my so-called-life, my so-called-pathetic-life of an overweight, jobless, penniless lady who once had it all.  But mind you, I am prepared to bounce back!! I'm not giving up.

I wouldn't say that my life has been turn around by my ex-boss, Deborah Tan.  Oops.  Did I say that out loud? You can sue me if you want, you ungrateful lawyer.  It was f*cking hell working for you for six dreadful months. Thanks to you - I am a stronger person today.  I am now prepared to face people with sweet sayings and promises with a tough heart.  Talk is cheap, actions speak louder than words.

Working in that law firm has opened up my eyes.  It has opened up my mind to so many things.  Not to trust any sweet words, not to trust sweet faces, not to respond to sweet treats and promises. Oh wow, now I feel like throwing up. Thinking of that bloody snake, Deborah, she's a devil woman.  A snake in human's skin.  I quit after six months of suffering and walked out the door, never coming back and working for her.  The boss who never appreciates her worker despite the efforts, the time invested and even lending money in the process (because surprise, surprise this cheap firm has no petty cash!!).  She told me, "I don't like gossips in the office."  But to my dismay she's the one who's so busy body wanting to know about everyone's lives.  Then she makes the employees turn on each other.  Then she goes on to be the hero in the situation  - "saving" people from quarreling.  When in truth, she was the cause of the argument spreading lies about her own employees just so she could feel good about herself.

Oh boy.. She sure has a lot of insecurities.  Can't blame her for being a divorcee. Oops did I say that out loud again? My bad, my bad.  I'm sure you feel great calling me 'pukimak' to my ex-colleagues behind my back. Stay classy girl. I just think that it's a shame for her to call herself a 'boss' when she's acting like an immature, whiny 18-year-old.  Trying to get close to her employees and treating them like her 'buddies'.  Yikes girl, nobody wants to hang with you. Remember the numerous times I've declined drinks with you, dinners with you - heck I wasn't busy, heck I didn't have plans.  For f*ck's sake, I just didn't wanna be seen with you.

I'm sure you took it hard when I left your little firm.  But you didn't have to go to the extreme and spread malicious lies about me, dragging my family into it.  I left you a resignation letter - surrendered the office keys - parted in a professional way.  You on the other hand made it so dramatic, accusing me of things I didn't do, telling the whole office what a terrible person I was - all this while all the secrets and gossips about my fellow colleagues I kept inside - Imma let it out (if I have to).  What do I care, you are no longer paying my salary.  Let's talk about salaries shall we, we have to BEG for it every month.  F*ck the memo you gave us promising to pay us on the 27th/28th of every month - you big liar. You don't even contribute to SOCSO.  You don't pay EPF on time.  You took my goodies from Manila, the ones I bought for my ex-colleagues! You only cared about yourself and your little pet, KC. You both can pinch each other's nipples now (you used to say this about yourself and Karen) - not that I care, LOL, yikes you both deserve each other.

!!!I HAD TO LEAVE THE FIRM, I HAD TO SAVE MYSELF FROM THE DEMONS!!!

I am not proud to rant out like this but Eminem has been a big inspiration to me to express my angst to the World.  That's what makes him so real and successful.

You haven't seen the last of me.  I'm not going anywhere.  I'm still here.  Imma build myself up. Buttercup.